Whip him into a frenzy with these creamy dessert ideas
If you want to be a seductress at the stovetop your culinary efforts should be as stress-free as possible. In my case, it’s about cooking to love, not loving to cook, which means I make the smallest effort to get the best return on my sugary-laden investment and get my squeeze salivating. A sexy dessert shouldn’t involve more than a quick pat with a makeup blotter when it comes to exertion.
I tell my guy “I’m Ginger, not Maryanne.” Meaning, my favorite thing to make for dinner is a reservation. Having said that, I do occasionally get my lazy ass in the kitchen. And, when I do, my man gets as excited as a hungry Cocker Spaniel eyeing a fresh steak. Seriously, my boyfriend would get excited about me opening a jar of Raguletto pasta sauce. And there is nothing I like more than an appreciative man.
This is why it’s never a good idea to cook for a new squeeze too soon. In my mind, making a meal is more intimate than sex: and you don’t just give that sort of effort away. Despite all the baloney about “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”, it’s simply not a good strategy to try and cook your way to four carats: You will just end up with calluses. Pretty soon, the only thing your guy will be romancing is the remote control and he won’t know your clitoris from a casserole.
It’s not the Madonna/Whore syndrome – it’s the Housefrau/Hornbag syndrome.
My own rule of thumb is to be as slatternly in the kitchen as I am elsewhere. When you think he deserves a delicious dessert (namely you), I suggest serving this Berry Delicious dessert to him as an appetizer. It’s so easy; it’s sinful. And, if you can’t be bothered cooking at all, then just put out a bowl of strawberries with the green bits cut off, spray yourself into a whipped cream bikini and meet him at the door wearing a big smile. This works a treat every time. Now that’s what I call a recipe with ROI.
Berry Delicious
- Serves 2
- 3 oz frozen raspberries
- 6 0z Greek-style yoghurt
- 2 meringues, roughly crumbled
- 1 tbsp lemon curd
- Zest of ½ lemon
- Fresh raspberries, optional
- Note: use strawberries or any other type of berry if raspberries aren’t in season
Place the raspberries and yoghurt in a blender, and whizz for a few seconds to form an instant soft-set ice cream. Serve the ice cream immediately with the crumbled meringue, a little lemon curd, the grated lemon zest, and the fresh raspberries, if available. Eat it slowly, licking your lips and look at him as if he’s the best part of the dessert. Pretty soon, you will be berried in one another.
What do you do when you’ve been dumped by a bag of douche? Play “I Will Survive” on continuous loop, get some hair therapy and start a rebound relationship with your cocktail blender. Here is the perfect drink to get your spirits back if you’ve been wounded on the Gaza strip of romance. And if he rings just to rub it in, tell him: “I’d love to stop and chat, but you’ve lost your place in the queue and I have a waiting list.” Living well is the best revenge. Make up your mind to move up the dating chain and to find a man that deserves you. This charmed elixir and Gloria Gaynor will get help you get your Sexy back.
